After I accepted the shock of my mother’s unexpected death, I had to learn how to grieve, but I didn’t know how. And everywhere I turned, I saw messages saying, “Don’t dwell on the past”, which kept me from grieving my mom and instead, suppressing it, the best I could. These were all unhelpful messages from a grief-illiterate world.

Many years later, I learned two important things. First, you cannot successfully suppress grief. You can’t avoid it, as it will appear in unwelcome and unhealthy ways.

Secondly, I learned that grieving with the hope that comes from Christ is infinitely more helpful. These truths helped free me to grieve my own way. I believe these two messages will help other young, grieving girls, so I wove them into Jar of Tears.

My hope is that grieving girls will read this story and find some of their grief mirrored back to them. It’s comforting to know you’re not the only one who feels grief the way you do. And we all grieve differently.

Years before my realization, I read a book called Motherless Daughters, by Hope Edelman. The different reactions to grief from other women comforted me. For once, I wasn’t the only one who felt the way I did, about my mom, and my grief. It felt incredibly validating that it was okay to continue to grieve my mother, as these women did. I hope my story, Jar of Tears, comforts grieving girls the way Motherless Daughters comforted me.